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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk, the long suffering.

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13 June 04
England 1 France 2
First Game in the European Championships. England play well and better than their opponents, the favourites, but Zidane steals the game with two goals during injury time. David Beckham misses penalty.
Seamus, the cat, sat next to me in his position on the arm of sofa facing the TV. After each goal, or major incident, he was forced to bolt out of the room, due to my uncontrolled outburst of delight and horror in equal measures. That's at least 4 bolts out of the room. 3 goals and one penalty miss.
Seamus came back to the same place each time but after the second Zidane goal, he'd had enough.
Mrs. Monk goaded me throughout the match, insisting that France would win and that we English always think we are so great and so on. She also enjoyed walking between me, Seamus and the TV, throughout the game, pretending to fix the curtains, or attend to her flower arranging. She would also constantly distract us from the game by offering unwanted gifts of fruit, for example. When the second Zidane goal went in, I picked up one of these offerings, an orange, and threw it at Mrs. Monk.