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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk, the long suffering.

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18 September 2004
"Diarrhoea," he said, without blinking.
Invited to join large gathering to enjoy the Ryder Cup in West London.
Spent three days watching every drive, pitch and putt.
Mrs. Monk, teacher, spent much time bonding with many kids; something of a busman's holiday.
Tiny little Patrick wanted to be a pretend talk show host.
I was roped in as would-be talk show guest.
Tiny little Patrick, (as Michael Parkinson), to me, "What is your favourite disease?"
I was flawed by this question, and afraid to offend anyone who knew anyone with any disease that I might nominate.
I threw the question back at tiny little Patrick, "What is your favourite disease, Patrick?"
"Diarrhoea," he said, without blinking.
We had to leave the party in order to make journey across London , timed so that we would be back in order to see the climax of the Ryder Cup on our return home
However , Thames Festival closed down the centre of London and delayed journey home.
Consequently we arrived home moments after Colin Montgomery made the winning putt.
We saw him getting kissed by his team mates but missed the climax of the golf

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