14 September 04 Customer Services Bullshit
GM card tried to charge me £25 because I didn't pay the bill in time. In fact I did pay in time by BACS, and my bank statement confirms that the cash flew out the account 4 days before time was up but arrived supposedly one day after it was due.
This is not the first time this has happened and so, being duly angered by the 3rd reoccurrence I picked up the phone in the mood for not taken "no" for an answer.
After dialling up Customer Services and punching in my 16 digit credit card no and my date of birth and my mothers maiden name, I eventually passed on my complaint and demand for a refund.
"No, Mr. Monk" I am not at liberty to refund the charge, because you have had a refund before, and we only refund one time only, and you were late, after all"
This was a familiar refrain, and I was ready for it.
"Thank you very much", I said, "I now want to speak with the supervisor"
"I am the supervisor", he said.
I have now to admit to flying off the handle.
"Thank you very much", I said, "I now want to speak with the MANAGER"
It was arranged that the Manager would call me back and two hours later I got the call, by which time I had been fuelled by a glass of wine, or three.
All the of the above arguments were repeated but I expanded on the theme of banks making money out of delays in transferring money.
"Do you know that this is illegal in Sweden?" I told him.
He told me that they needed 4 days because there are certain procedures that have to be carried out.
"Bullshit" I told him.
"I am prepared to halve the charge he said"
"You want to steal my money and give me half of it back and expect me to be satisfied"
The wine was working.
I told him that I wanted to talk to the supervisor of the Managers.
I was surprised to learn that there was such a thing and it was arranged that this person would call me back.
One hour later, we were on the second bottle and the Supervisor of the Manager of the Supervising Managers called; a lady.
She told me that on this occasion, they were prepared to refund the whole of the charge.
"Thank you very much", I said calmly and that should have been that, .....but for what she added, thinking it would be her closing statement.
She said, "This will be the last time that we will refund the charge."
This is something they, customer services representatives, are trained to say in order to shift the guilt onto the customer, and at the same time act generously and unapologetic.
I provided my own closing statement.
"If your company tries to rip me off again, your company will refund the charge, again and again"
I had an annoying smug ring of confidence for the rest of the evening