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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk, the long suffering.
 

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C H R O N I C L E

13 Jan 2005
Amazonian Women
Time is becoming available to complete our kitchen.
A trip to Homebase to purchase worktops.
Young man in green Homebase overalls, whose job it is to cut boards and counter tops to the customers requirements, had commendably strange facial hair.
First I had to field his sales pitch for a Homebase Credit Card.
Then he took my order and wrote it down on a tiny note pad in tiny indecipherable handwriting.
He directed me to the Customer services desk where I was to arrange delivery.
There I discovered the most beautiful black woman I have ever seen.
She was taller than my 6 ft 1 in and I wondered if she was standing on a platform behind the sales desk.
I handed her the piece of paper with the tiny handwriting.
She looked at the paper and then she looked at her computer screen and I in turn looked at her. She had the smartest suit with lots of bling and glamorous make-up, and nails that were not designed for shifting DIY goods.
I had her down as executive material, but then the Store Manager arrived. I learnt by comparison with him that she was of genuinely Amazonian proportions, and also by overhearing their conversation, that she was a trainee assistant and had just started that very day.
However, such was the aura and magnificence of the trainee, that the "manager" was entirely deferential to her, and even tried to impress her.
He did this by demonstrating his authority by summoning the hirsute board-cutter on the store tanoy, and in due course giving the young man a bollocking for his handwriting.
Thus, the trainee learnt how to put the shop assistant in his place.

 

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